3.4.08

Woman, 50ish and Living Her Life

A lot of things had been going on in my life lately that got me seriously thinking.

Reflecting, I realize that Simone de Beauvoir was right after all. That a woman must be in-charge of her own life because only she knows what is best for her. Sure, one can be influenced by what others think but it should not be the sole basis of how life goes on.

But why didn't I realize this earlier?

I guess it must be some form of a passage? Everyone goes through a phase -- the hurts and the disappointments resulting in my case, from the dysfunctional and inequitable realities of my own relationships.

Was lack of wisdom brought in by my youth? Was I incapable of making intelligent decisions about my personal happiness because I was young? Inexperienced and afraid? Why did I fail to recognize much earlier that I am unique, different from everyone and, that was, in fact good? Did I not know myself too well? Afraid, just went along with the traditional notion that 'good' women must not be assertive? And they are better when submissive?

But I remember I was never self-effacing. In fact I questioned a lot of things happening in my life. I recall that I always had a mind of my own, ahead of my time if you will. And was I happy? Or could I have done it better? Decisions, decisions, there were so many to be made... how many proved right? What were the consequences of the mistakes?

Today, with a daughter of my own, I take my place under the sun convinced more than ever that our life is our responsibility. No one else's. What we make of it is entirely dependent on choices we make. And note that we must never as in never allow temporary setbacks and obstacles dictate the actions we need to make. We must take control our life and not the other way around.

There is still time. I know. And remember to remind my daughter about these thoughts :-)

BTW, something more interesting about Simone de Beauvoir here.