27.4.07

Trust 101

Thoughts to improve my trusting quotient.

"Once trust has been betrayed, most people will be less trusting the next time. The degree of mistrust that is engendered varies between individuals and with the sensitivity of a particular betrayal."

"However, over a period of time, your trust can be rebuilt with repeated positive experiences. For example, if your boyfriend is unfaithful, you won't initially trust the next man you date. But, when a man consistently demonstrates his reliability, despite your more critical evaluation of his actions, he might earn your trust. These common but painful human experiences contribute to your growth and development."

"Trust is at the core of all meaningful relationships. Without trust there can be no giving, no bonding, no risk-taking. To trust a partner again, betrayal must be acknowledged. The wrongdoer must admit that he or she has inflicted a deep hurt, and the victim must look at what he or she could have done to make things different."

"Seeking and accepting forgiveness is the first step toward rebuilding a more secure relationship. If the relationship is of a permanent nature (parent, child, spouse), both sides must agree to change specific behavior.In new relationships, at the appropriate time, discussion of such a past situation can alert a caring partner to the other's sensitivities and vulnerabilities."